Aesthetic Experience

For this project we were all required to experience an aesthetic experience with a cup of water and color dye. To be truthful I didnt feel any emotion at all at first no matter how hard I consentrated, and allowed myself to feel such a feeling. I was really getting frustrated because I knew my life could not be so meaningless to not get emotions out of this experience. Then toward the middle when the clear water began to fade away I felt something. I felt like I was the water and the dye was covering me, and turning my world into darkness. I felt the dye was all the people in the world that have tried to bring me down. I know I'm not the only person who feels this way most of the time, and I have no idea why I let such things get to me. Maybe because I am not heartless even though sometimes I wish I wasn't to not get hurt. No matter how much I try to bring happiness into my life It always fades away in the dark. I feel like at the end of the day everything that I have done to make myself smile doesn't matter anymore because the sun always goes away. There is no more light then and I feel let down again. The sun does come back up but then it seems like I am right back were I started. Its just a big circle that I travel around in everyday of my existence, and I cant make it stop. I so wish my shape could be a straight line so I wont have to start over and over again, because I am really dizzy and about to stumble on my mistakes and fall. If my life was a straight line I can finally move forward, and forget about all this madness accruing.